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How Do I "Pick My Party"?

Updated: Jul 6, 2021

Choosing a wedding party is both "SO FUN" and sometimes not so fun. The fun part is that you get to involve your close friends and family in the intimate details of your forever memories. In addition, it is super great to be able to invite them to be a part in creative ways along the way (ie wedding party proposals- which is another blog for another day).

Now, for the not so fun part. Don't worry, you've got this! It's choosing who you want in the wedding party. First, consider the size of your wedding. If you are having a very small and intimate wedding, you may not want 10 attendants standing on each side. By the way, the average size wedding party is 4-5 on each side.

Next, think about WHO you want. Most couples will want to include their siblings, after all they are your family. Next, think about who has been and will continue to be a part of your life. Obviously they will be important to you and you enjoy spending time with them. You can always ask yourself "Will I most likely be close to them in 5 years?"

Another thing to consider is the candidates personality. Make sure your day will be the best it can be by considering whether or not each person involved will be supportive and uplifting on wedding day. Wedding day is amazing, but there is a lot going on. You don't want a needy or pushy person making it stressful. If someone you love tends to be that way and you want to involve them, make sure that you visit with them ahead of time about your expectations and concerns.

When choosing your maid of honor and best man, choose wisely. They will typically have the most responsibilities when planning and on your big day. They may plan bachelor and bachelorette parties, help with choosing dresses and suites, assist with many details along the way, and on wedding day. Choose someone who will be an asset rather than someone who will make things more difficult... or who will be no help at all. We cannot stress enough how much communication and clear expectations will help! After all, your bestie usually means well, they just need to know what you need.

Remember, in the past, there have been so many wedding "rules" and things that were expected at every wedding. Well, good news! You don't have to go by common wedding prototypes if you don't want to anymore! If the brides best friend is a guy...he can be standing right next to you! If the flower girl is a grown man- he can hurl those petals! If you don't even want a wedding party, or a flower girl- toss those elements. This is your day!

One more thing, if you have more "people' than spots to fill, get creative. You can always employ ushers, floaters, reception attendants, and over all greeters to make your extras feel special! No need to leave anyone out that you want as part of your big day! Don't forget, you'll need as much support as you can get along the way. So, if you don't have a wedding day job for someone important, have them help with everything from shopping lists to packing the car for wedding day! Remember when everyone in your elementary school classroom had a job? Hmmmmm. The same concept can work for you!


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