Mom always loves to "do" things on wedding day (and before) so that her "baby" is taken care of. But the question is...How much should the mother of the bride be doing leading up to wedding day and on the actual day? The answer is a bit complicated, but hang in there until the end.
The simple answer is that mom shouldn't do much at all. The bride needs support and encouragement; as well as, experiences with her mom. We know it's hard for mom, because the nature of a mom is to take care of everything when it comes to her child.
Why is it different when it comes to wedding prep and wedding day? It's because now it is time for switching to being a friend to the sweet daughter. She has lots of ideas that she will need to bounce off of mom. She needs mom to accompany her in dress shopping and all of the things that she has to do. This ranges from meetings with her planner to visiting venues. In the end, she wants mom's thoughts, but she doesn't want mom to do it for her. After all, she is creating a new chapter of her life (don't worry mom, she will always need you).
Finally, let's talk about wedding day. Should mom be decorating, taking care of food set up, setting up tables, cleaning up tables for the reception, directing photos, and so on? The answer again is no (sorry mom). If mom is busy doing those things, she is not with the bride. Wedding day is all about creating amazing memories that will always be cherished. Mom should be with the bride and her tribe laughing, crying, singing, and keeping the bride relaxed throughout the day. All of the memories the bride has, should be experienced with mom at her side.
The bottom line is that all of the preparation and work in the world cannot replace the lasting memories that are built with the bride on wedding day. The only way this can be done is by being present and in the moment- each and every moment that the bride desires with her mom. There are lots of other people who can carry out the vision, but only one mom.